Are you sure you want to delete this file? YES!

They say you shouldn't think too much about the past or have regrets while looking back, but really now, is it a crime to regret something? I think not. Do I regret something? Hell yes, I do. Can I erase this feeling? Well... basically I can't erase the feeling, but I can get rid of the ones who fed my negative state of mind and thus, the feeling will soon be forgotten. Does it sound mean? Probably. Do I care? Not anymore, because they didn't care either while doing so much damage and being aware of it. Sooo... yeah.

Under and Over It

Hello kiddies,

Summer, huh? Well I think this is the first day without rain since... June or something? NOT complaining since I hate the heat, but I'll admit it, it's actually nice to enjoy a sunny day once in a while, especially since my vacation just started and I had a really chillaxing day, representing (the start of) a transformation process, if I may call it so. 

Words can't be taken back

When you ask someone about the qualities they appreciate in another person, you'll probably hear sincerity a lot. And that's just great, we all want sincere friends, partners, colleagues in our lives. But let me ask you something... Should there be a limit? When do you draw a line? What if you hurt someone beyond repair with your sincerity? Hmm. What if you mistook selfishness for sincerity...?

Post-rock vibes or how to calm an anxious spirit

Hey guys!

No blog post for the last weekend, because I was out of town, attending the ARTmania Festival in Sibiu and I tried to stay away from the demon named technology (as much as I could, at least). Honestly, I wanted to write about this event, make a review of some sort, but I've changed my mind. I can say I loved every second of it. The shows, the atmosphere, everything was just great. Like every year, I've met dear friends and lovely artists and I'll treasure these memories and add them to the past ones, since this was my 8th time attending this festival (out of 12). 

Looking forward to ARTmania no. 13! 😈

ARTmania crowd, before Tarja, 29th of July

Lost In The Echo

July 20th 2017, 21:40. It was just a regular Thursday night. Was getting a bit sleepy, but I still wanted to watch an episode of something or some cartoons before actually going to bed. So I was just browsing around and since I couldn't make up my mind, I refreshed my Facebook news feed and I felt as if lightning stroke me. Someone was making a really bad joke. I begin to scroll down. Everybody was going nuts, the news was spreading, it began to be posted all over the most read media channels. Pulse rising. This can't be true. No. I've barely just made peace with the fact that Chris Cornell is not with us anymore and now this?! Denial. A feeling of immense emptiness. Scroll. Scroll. Shit. Shit!!! My teenage self was crushed. Shock. My generation is in total shock, I can see it from their posts and I can feel it, I swear. Google. Twitter. It's viral. Acceptance...? My head is spinning. The voice that set me, and millions of other teenagers on this musical path, is no more. I'll never get to experience the so energetic live show that I've had on my wish list for such a long time. I'll never get to sing their songs along with my friends at their show. I'll never gaze my eyes on the human being that I admired so much.

18 and Life on Skid Row

Who the hell knew this guy was so good even at writing?! 😐

Reading 18 and Life on Skid Row can be an emotional roller coaster, if you are an old fan of Skid Row and Sebastian Bach. I'm not the average fan who likes to dig into the personal life of the artist. I kinda always separated these things, makes it easier if you don't put people up on pedestals. Makes it easier to go over disappointments. Give me great music and I'm happy. I'll only judge you based on the music you deliver. I don't care what you do beyond that. But of course, sometimes the inevitable happens. 

In my case, I needed to study the lives of some of the most iconic rock figures in history, for a college project. And what can I say, it was very intriguing. So I kept on reading, because I got caught. The Beatles, Queen, Bon Jovi, Nirvana are just a few examples. It's extremely fascinating to catch a glimpse of what is beyond the music, the blood and the sweat and mostly beyond the stage masks shown to us in concerts/videos. But again, don't judge the music because of the artist. Enough with the intro. I'm terribly bad at explaining stuff. I was gifted this book and it blew me away.

Short recap & awesome music, of course

Yeah, well... 😳

I won't excuse myself for not writing for a long time. I actually think it's a good thing I didn't, because I usually feel an urge to write when I'm pissed off and stupid things bother me and I really don't find this constructive at all. And I don't wanna feed the trolls. And the shitheads that annoy me don't deserve my time. That being said, let's move on to a short recap of the first half of 2017.

Dark Spotlight of my Mind

There she was, sat in the spotlight,

All eyes piercing through her soul

They all claimed to know her mind,

They all ripped her thoughts and heart.

She felt tired and gave in.

Hope had drifted far away,

All she trusted gone forever,

All she loved was nowhere near.

Sorrow was the only feeling

No more power to go on

No more strength to fight her demons

No more will to carry on.

Selfish minds and empty souls

Never understood her pain.

Such a sensitive wild heart

Filled with love to give away.

“The world caged me in, denied me!

Why should I speak up my mind?!

Why should I express my feelings

When you judge and criticize?

Everything I am and feel

You see just as a mistake.

You all treat me like a child!

You all take me as insane!

I refuse to be like you.

I accept to live in exile!

I embrace the pain I feel,

It will only make me blossom.”

So she cried her scream so brave,

Looking them right in the eyes,

Then she turned away and left,

Leaving empty the spotlight…

14^th March 2012, Sibiu

Long time no see.

Only now, after so much time, I feel comfortable enough to post this... piece of my mind. 

Demons come and demons go away, but sometimes they stay with us and we need to learn to live with them inside. And sometimes we miss them. Might sound funny, I know, it depends on what you understand a demon can represent. My demons scarred me, but they've also shapped me, so I can only thank them. 

Rusty, but I want to come back.

Autumn is here. :)

Cris

Summer musical obsessions

Hey there!

It's September already and summer is still here. Bummer. 

I just can't cope with this season, man. I hate the heat and the bees and the lack of AIR. Having allergies makes me get through summer not so easily as a normal person can. So go away already! 

I need my beautiful colorful autumn to step in, with its chilly rainy and refreshing days, with nice long walks through the forest, with gentle sunny days and mountains of leaves to jump into. Ah, I'm already dreaming!

But until then, I'm going to share some awesome tunes with you. I was listening to a song on repeat a couple of days ago and I said to myself "Damn, I've been listening to this like crazy for some months now", then it hit me. I kinda developed some musical obsessions this summer. I mean, I usually try to listen to a lot of stuff and discover new bands or study genres that are not among my favorites, but this summer was mostly about repeating some tracks from bands that I pretty much love.

The Mask and the Mirror III

The Mask and the Mirror

The Mask and the Mirror II

Gently touches the Mask. Stares at it.

Yes, just like that... Closer, closer... The pain will end... It will all end...

Grabs the Mask and holds it just in front of his face. Remains like that, pondering, while tears begin to flow.

You know you want to, child.
I am already You.

"What are you, and why today,

all that's tragic, feels the same

There's no feeling, there's no pain,

cold, rain"

Suddenly, there was no anger, no fear, no nothing. His tears stopped pouring. He just stood there with his eyes fixed on the Mask, so close to his face, then took a peek at the Mirror. He never felt this tired before, it was so consuming, this inner battle that he was fighting for so long was simply too much. 

"From the darkness, into the light

Face the demons, left and right

If there's no wrong, can there be right?

Only a thin, fading line"

ARTmania 2013 (Part II)

Ziua 3 - sâmbătă, 10 august 2013

După o noapte mai mult sau mai puţin interesantă, au urmat ceva mai multe ore de somn şi o trezire drăguţă care mă anunţa că voi merge într-un road trip pe două roţi cu un Bandit viteaz. Numai bine, chiar aveam nevoie de aşa ceva, mai ales că se arăta din nou o zi toridă. Aşadar, relaxare totală şi plimbărică până pe la 4PM. 

Ce vreme răcoroasă şi plăcută am întâlnit aici...

ARTmania 2013 (Part I)

A trecut şi ARTmania, evenimentul pe care îl aştept cu mare drag şi multă nerăbdare de la an la an. Oricine a fost, cel puţin o dată, la acest festival îşi poate da seama de ce spun asta: profesionalism, varietate şi frumuseţe intr-un decor de vis. Bineînţeles că şi ediţia de anul acesta s-a încadrat perfect in tipar şi nu ne-a dezamăgit. Cred că singura mică problemă a fost căldura insuportabilă, dar i-am făcut faţă!

Ziua 1 - joi, 8 august 2013

Am ajuns în Sibiu pe la ora 2PM şi mi-am dat seama ce ţeapă am luat fix când am coborât din autocar. Eram mai mult ca sigură că în Sibiu o să mă răcoresc, dar se pare că nu avea să fie aşa, ba din contră, era chiar mai cald. Horror. Eh, ne descurcăm. Un suc cu gheaţă, o discuţie cu un vechi prieten pe superba terasă de la Cafe Wien, acompaniaţi de acorduri de pian şi deja mă simţeam mai bine. Am stabilit cu restul prietenilor implicaţi în "excursia ARTmania" să ne odihnim sau să lenevim până pe la 5PM, că nu prea avea niciun rost să ne topim pe afară. Zis şi făcut. Cu forţe proaspete, s-a strigat catalogul la Bohemian Flow în Piaţa Mică, şi tocmai bine că ne-am aşezat pe noua terasă cu vedere spre scena unde aveau să cânte The Mono Jacks şi Lights Out!. Dacă nouă ne era super cald cu ceva rece în faţă şi stând la umbră, chiar nu vreau să ştiu cum s-au simţit ei cântând pe drăcovenia aia de scenă la etaj. Nu zic că nu arăta bine, chiar era cool aşa, dar... pana mea, la 38 de grade +, nu cred că a fost tocmai plăcut. Oricum, ambele trupe au sunat bine şi au strâns ceva lume dornică de distracţie în Piaţa Mică.

Visual Memories

Hello, hello! Pffft, such a hot day! Do not leave your houses, or else you will melt.

I've made some changes on my blog, added some new gadgets; I'm pretty much satisfied with the result, but of course, there's always room for improvement. I'm taking it slowly, gonna add some more features the next time I'll get bored, haha! 

So today I was thinking of starting a new category here, one with photos (relax, I don't claim to be a photographer! I just like to believe that sometimes I manage to capture little, beautiful pieces of everything that is surrounding us, in my own non-professional way), because I'd like to share with you some of my Visual Memories. I will post the title of the photo beneath it, with a direct link that will lead you to the original location of the photo, in case you are interested in seeing details or some information about it. 

Hope you'll like this new category! Feel free to share your opinions with me! :)

Sparkle

The Mask and the Mirror II

If the first part of The Mask and the Mirror the voice was given to the Mirror, that tried to encourage the main character to face his/her fears and to let go of the Mask, this time it is the Mask's turn to pledge its beliefs. To whom will you listen?

Do you really believe in success without me by your side?

Do you really think you can manage to face another day without me protecting you?

Do you truly believe that people will like you if you give me up?

My child, you are such a fool if you only dare to dream that you could possibly manage without me...

I am the one that grants you strength and courage to face every little obstacle that you encounter.

I am the one that keeps your so-called friends close. Let's be honest... It is already hard enough for me to make you seem a pleasant person, so try, just try, to imagine how would this become if it wasn't for me. You are lonely even with them at your side, or what is left of them... because you dared listen just for a little while to that good for nothing Mirror and you instantly committed grave mistakes. When will you learn that honesty and kindness are NEVER answered with sincere goodness? People always forget those who help them, those who listen to their pathetic constant whining and feeling sorry for themselves, ah, even I sometimes feel like cracking from hearing all those complaints and stupid problems! You sank in this complicated devotion of trying to help them fix most of their troubles, forgetting that nobody will stand with you when hard times will follow your steps. Only after feeling the terrible sting of disappointment, you dare turn to me. 

Yes... Disappointment... It consumes you. And I can only enjoy this torment of yours, because it always leads you back, right in my caressing, patient arms.

Rock the City 2013

În sfârşit, mi-a venit cheful să scriu şi eu despre toată nebunia din weekend-ul trecut. Mai mult ca sigur, aţi citit deja vreo 20 de cronici de festival până acum, aşa că eu o să vă spun pe scurt ce mi-a plăcut şi ce m-a scârbit. Da, din păcate au fost şi multe minusuri. 

• Day 1

Prima şi cea mai tare chestie în legatură cu evenimentul acesta a fost că am mai evadat puţin din rutină şi am petrecut căteva zile faine alături de unii dintre cei mai dragi prieteni. În general, îmi place atmosfera de concert, probabil pentru că ştiu că nu voi fi singură acolo şi că ma voi întalni cu oameni dragi, indiferent dacă vorbim înainte să stabilim ceva sau nu. Şi din fericire, am regăsit mulţi oameni simpatici la Romexpo, în cele 2 zile de festival. Am mai băut o bere, am mai povestit ceva, şi a trecut timpul într-un mod foarte plăcut (am mai şi urlat ca apucaţii şi am rămas fără voce, dar e ok bă, e ok, haha!). Cu ocazia aceasta, vă şi mulţumesc pentru momentele frumoase petrecute împreună! *inimioare* 

Cât despre muzică, pentru prima zi de fest, am vrut neapărat să bifez concertul Rezident EX. De ce? Păi simplu: îmi doream de ceva ani să am şansa să îl aud (şi să îl văd, evident) pe Kempes cântând live. Cred că aveam 12-13 ani când Kempes pleca din Cargo şi nu avusesem ocazia să îi prind în concert. Ascultam cu nostalgie albumele lor şi nici nu visam că s-ar putea ivi ocazia să asist la un concert de genul. Dar uite că se mai schimbă roata şi pe 27 iulie, în prima zi de Rock the City, am fost foarte fericită să îi văd pe Rezident EX. Kempes mi s-a părut într-o formă de zile mari, extrem de energic şi vesel şi m-am bucurat să văd şi publicul foarte entuziasmat. În mod negreşit, e unul dintre cei mai iubiţi solişti de muzică rock de pe la noi şi va rămâne aşa pentru mult, mult timp. Se vede foarte clar că omul are o pasiune enormă pentru ceea ce face şi cred eu că i-au lipsit foarte mult scena şi căldura ascultătorilor. 

Rezident EX @ Rock the City 2013

Late night thoughts

Sometimes I wonder about the changes that could have appeared in my life, if I was as ignorant as most people these days. Honestly, I'm fed up with a lot of you. I keep on hearing this shit with "Ignorance is bliss" and I feel like banging my head on the nearest wall, because nowadays people can't seem to understand this statement. Everybody thinks it's cool to "not give a fuck". Of course, one shouldn't be too sensitive about every little problem in life, but you people really amaze me. Lately (and sadly), I have observed so many negative changes regarding some of my... friends. And it hurts. I have the courage to admit it hurts. Yeah, it's not a weakness, it's a human emotion and instead of acting all mighty and saying "I don't give a fuck", I choose to admit it hurts. Feel free to laugh or to feel superior, at least at the end of the day I will know that I've been honest with myself, unlike you. 

Let me tell you something... You may feel good with yourself for some time, keeping inside everything that is tormenting you and acting like everything is fine and dandy, but trust me, there will come a time when this avalanche is going to get to you and it won't be pretty. I learned this the hard way. 

The Mask and the Mirror

Between you and the Mirror there is still one little thing. A both fragile and powerful object blocking a lot of feelings that you would like to let go of. It's a rather difficult situation, because you'd love to throw it away, although the idea of being without it, without the only thing that makes you feel a bit more protected, scares you. Decisions... Choices? Courage?! Maybe. Maybe not.

Your pretty Mask is there for you, but is this a good thing? Is this helpful? Sometimes it seems like the only right thing to do: put on the Mask, together with a smile. You know you can, you had time to learn to fake it so well. "Make me proud and act like you were taught to..." gently whispers the Mask. And you do as you are told to, thinking that nothing could go wrong. My dear, everything went wrong... You lost yourself when you chose this easy way. You did not realize the Mask had embraced you. Completely. On a second thought... you wanted this, didn't you? 

I believe you also got tired of making it right, of pleasing everyone and being the nice person, so you decided to put some space between you and the ones that you believed to be there only to take advantage of you being kind, probably too kind. It seems this made you feel quite relieved, but it also left you with some unanswered questions. And some wounds. You can manage to hide the wounds, but what are we going to do with the questions? Some might say that ignorance is bliss; a foolish thing to say. Ignorance is truly bliss when the action involved ceases to have an impact on you, when you feel nothing for someone, when they never cross your mind and you don't wake up thinking suddenly about them. So I guess that sooner or later you will have to ask some questions and also answer to some of them. Only then you might find your peace of mind. Of course, you might not like some of the answers, they might hurt you, but at least you'd know the truth, you'd learn from mistakes and you'd carry on. In order to succeed in this matter, you must do something very hard: lose the Mask!!! Believe in yourself.

Beauty and the Beat

I gotta say, it took me 5 days to get used to the fact that I had the opportunity to watch such an amazing performance. Everyone asked me right after the show about how it was and so on, but I simply couldn't talk about it; I was still in that breathtaking atmosphere (for quite a while). Really, it was unbelievable. If you were there, you know what I'm talking about; if you missed the show, well... I hope you'll get the chance to see it, at least once. It's not about being a Nightwish fan or a Tarja fan; it's about a great show with such passionate musicians that will make you just float around for 2 hours and forget about everything else.

I really need to say this: Mike is one hell of a showman! That guy made the people from the orchestra turn  towards him and watch him have fun on stage, instead of paying attention to their conductor (no, don't worry, they did great too)! He was like a fish in the sea, the stage was his home. And if we already knew that he's an amazing drummer, this time he also proved that he can sing. This was quite a lovely surprise. And of course, Tarja had to show us something cool too, so she took Mike's place at the drums set and made it clear once again that she's not only talented, but also very ambitious. She made a little joke about the fact that high-heels are not really recommended for drumming and the minutes that followed were simply magic. Frank Sinatra's Fly Me To The Moon began, taking us back to the '60s.

Greetings!

Well this is a bit weird. 

Some time ago I've told myself that I'd never start a blog, because I could not see its purpose. I mean... I already have a Facebook page, a Twitter page (and I rarely use it) and I just remembered about the MySpace one. I thought I've forgotten the password, but guess what? "Connect with Facebook". Say what?

If I try hard enough I might connect my washing machine with Facebook. Now THAT would be something! Status: "Cristina's washing machine is now in the process of rinsing some awesome black T-shirts!" Cool.

So what I am saying is that I made this blog in order to express some of my feelings/opinions/rants about crazy things that go through my head almost all the time. I'll try to write more about stuff that I like, experiences I had and clearly there will be a lot of action regarding music. Gonna try to make some reviews (albums, concerts etc because I wanna learn to do this the right way) whenever I'll find my damn inspiration! This is a promise to myself... as much as I hate promises. So yeah, music, music, music! Underground bands, underrated writers and photographers... and other things that I'll find interesting and intriguing, because I don't want this blog to go only in the "me, me, me!" direction. 

I have so many things to say right now, but it's all so scrambled in my mind so I'd better stop before I begin to write about silly things and freak you out. I'm not saying I won't freak you out later, but as this is the first post, the presentation post, I'd rather make a good impression. So much fail. But, please, remember I am cute and I have good intentions! Lol. 

Ok, enough with the babbling! Feel free to follow me or.. whatever the hell they call it here (still browsing around with no clue of what I have to do). And let me know if you also have a blog here so I can read your stuff, exchange ideas, become friends and dance on the rainbow! Yeah! /facepalm

Wish me luck!

Cris

P.S. If you are wondering what's with the name of the blog...