Are you sure you want to delete this file? YES!

They say you shouldn't think too much about the past or have regrets while looking back, but really now, is it a crime to regret something? I think not. Do I regret something? Hell yes, I do. Can I erase this feeling? Well... basically I can't erase the feeling, but I can get rid of the ones who fed my negative state of mind and thus, the feeling will soon be forgotten. Does it sound mean? Probably. Do I care? Not anymore, because they didn't care either while doing so much damage and being aware of it. Sooo... yeah.

Under and Over It

Hello kiddies,

Summer, huh? Well I think this is the first day without rain since... June or something? NOT complaining since I hate the heat, but I'll admit it, it's actually nice to enjoy a sunny day once in a while, especially since my vacation just started and I had a really chillaxing day, representing (the start of) a transformation process, if I may call it so. 

Lost In The Echo

July 20th 2017, 21:40. It was just a regular Thursday night. Was getting a bit sleepy, but I still wanted to watch an episode of something or some cartoons before actually going to bed. So I was just browsing around and since I couldn't make up my mind, I refreshed my Facebook news feed and I felt as if lightning stroke me. Someone was making a really bad joke. I begin to scroll down. Everybody was going nuts, the news was spreading, it began to be posted all over the most read media channels. Pulse rising. This can't be true. No. I've barely just made peace with the fact that Chris Cornell is not with us anymore and now this?! Denial. A feeling of immense emptiness. Scroll. Scroll. Shit. Shit!!! My teenage self was crushed. Shock. My generation is in total shock, I can see it from their posts and I can feel it, I swear. Google. Twitter. It's viral. Acceptance...? My head is spinning. The voice that set me, and millions of other teenagers on this musical path, is no more. I'll never get to experience the so energetic live show that I've had on my wish list for such a long time. I'll never get to sing their songs along with my friends at their show. I'll never gaze my eyes on the human being that I admired so much.

Dark Spotlight of my Mind

There she was, sat in the spotlight,

All eyes piercing through her soul

They all claimed to know her mind,

They all ripped her thoughts and heart.

She felt tired and gave in.

Hope had drifted far away,

All she trusted gone forever,

All she loved was nowhere near.

Sorrow was the only feeling

No more power to go on

No more strength to fight her demons

No more will to carry on.

Selfish minds and empty souls

Never understood her pain.

Such a sensitive wild heart

Filled with love to give away.

“The world caged me in, denied me!

Why should I speak up my mind?!

Why should I express my feelings

When you judge and criticize?

Everything I am and feel

You see just as a mistake.

You all treat me like a child!

You all take me as insane!

I refuse to be like you.

I accept to live in exile!

I embrace the pain I feel,

It will only make me blossom.”

So she cried her scream so brave,

Looking them right in the eyes,

Then she turned away and left,

Leaving empty the spotlight…

14^th March 2012, Sibiu

Long time no see.

Only now, after so much time, I feel comfortable enough to post this... piece of my mind. 

Demons come and demons go away, but sometimes they stay with us and we need to learn to live with them inside. And sometimes we miss them. Might sound funny, I know, it depends on what you understand a demon can represent. My demons scarred me, but they've also shapped me, so I can only thank them. 

Rusty, but I want to come back.

Autumn is here. :)

Cris