Yes, just like that... Closer, closer... The pain will end... It will all end...
Grabs the Mask and holds it just in front of his face. Remains like that, pondering, while tears begin to flow.
You know you want to, child.
I am already You.
"What are you, and why today,
all that's tragic, feels the same
There's no feeling, there's no pain,
cold, rain"
Suddenly, there was no anger, no fear, no nothing. His tears stopped pouring. He just stood there with his eyes fixed on the Mask, so close to his face, then took a peek at the Mirror. He never felt this tired before, it was so consuming, this inner battle that he was fighting for so long was simply too much.
"From the darkness, into the light
Face the demons, left and right
If there's no wrong, can there be right?
Only a thin, fading line"
He stood up, still holding the Mask and slowly walked towards the Mirror. He felt pity seeing his reflection. How did it come to this? How did he get lost in this maze of feelings? "I... I just can't... How..." Heart pounding. Breathing became heavy. He felt lightheaded.
"I promised myself that I will always take care of my heart. That I will always be a rational person and I won't lose myself, because only I can help myself. I feel alone with all of you near me, with all your so called advice, I am sick of everything. You are smothering me! You have brought me on the brink of losing my mind! You have played with my mind just like those puppeteers handling their marionettes. Was it for fun? Yes... and no. Cruel human beings finding a source of entertainment in someone else's pain... or just trying to survive in the jungle of life? Maybe the Mask was right", as he said this, the Mask began to tremble in his hand, thirsty with power. The Mirror also reacted, being afraid that he might give in to his darker side, she began to reflect images from his past, happy memories that he had built together with his loved ones. He watched them with attention as they were unfolding before his eyes. "Yes, I remember everything. I also remember everything falling apart, step by step..." and he let himself fall on the ground, beside the Mirror. The Mask hissed satisfied and began to project on the wall a series of memories through the holes that were its eyes.
The Mask: Only I was there for you when everything fell apart. I was the one that helped you go on! We are one! Deep inside you know that you can't go on without me. Accept me forever and you shall never feel sadness, you will be powerful and you will always stand tall! Nobody will get in your way!
Take me in! Take me in NOW!
The Mirror: Do not listen to him, you are more than this! Every word he utters is a complete lie, you just have to know how deceitful he can be... If you embrace him, there is no turning back. Everything you have achieved until now and the beautiful person that you became... it will all be gone. Hiding from your problems, choosing to ignore them won't solve anything. Eventually they will find a way back to you and they will consume you completely!
"Dream of me and let me go
I am still my own worst foe
Try to smile and face the light
My starry sky, burning night"
The two voices were echoing in his head, louder and louder. It was just too much.
"ENOUGH!"
With all the force he had left and without even realizing, he threw the Mask towards the Mirror. The impact was incredible. Dark waves sprung out of the Mask's shards and were combined in the air with some colorful waves that were rising from the broken Mirror, all of them creating flashbacks from his life. Only then did he realize...
"I had a beautiful, intense life. The Mask and the Mirror were both wrong. There is no good way or bad way... There can't be light without darkness or happiness without some suffering. Friends will come and go, family members will grow old and they will find their way to the stars... We shall all reunite there at some point. But this... this time that was given to me... it needs to be cherished. Every single second of it. Only now I have realized that not everything is black and white... The gray is the most important part of it all. The mistakes we make, the things we regret doing or not doing, the ones that get away from us... every one of these happenings is a lesson, a lesson from which we have something to learn, but it doesn't mean that we won't redo it! It doesn't mean it won't hurt for a very long time or even until the end of our days. It's just how we are made. It only proves we are human beings, capable of such majestic feelings... Love, loss, intense happiness, extreme pain... I don't want to live on one side only! I want to experience everything that I hadn't before. I want to go out with all guns blazing. I want to burn out, not fade away. I am afraid of fading away. Yes, I admit! I hold on to my fear because it gives me my courage, my pain provides me my power, my love is my curse and also my fuel, my tears cleanse my soul when everything is overwhelming and my screams release my inner self when I feel like I had enough and I'm on the verge of giving up. This is exactly the most important part. The giving up. No. Never. No matter what, this can't be. I don't even want to promise it, because I don't have to. This is about ME. I owe myself another chance. And another, and another. I am the only thing that I can be sure of in this life and I have to rise up from my own ashes after every single hit that I receive. I can choose to stay down and wallow in my suffering, but I will always rise up, as long as there is air in my lungs. Don't worry, I will need little help with this matter, I am strong enough. Always been."
The shards from the broken Mask and Mirror slowly began to float up in the air, twirling and twirling until his image was created. The clone descended towards him, smiled and told him:
"We are our worst enemies. Remember this."
And disappeared.
He then looked up towards the sky. The full moon looked extraordinary. It was such a beautiful night to be alive.
He took one deep breath.
"We were here."
The End
Nightwish - The Greatest Show on Earth
It's been 2 years since I last wrote something on this blog, but tonight I felt like ending 'The Mask and the Mirror'. It may seem rusty and I can tell you that I had many thoughts to put into this, but some might have slipped my mind, but oh well. I was inspired by Sonata Arctica's 'No Pain' song (the verses from this post are from that song), Nightwish (do listen to the song I posted while reading the final monologue of my character) and by some of my thoughts and memories. This post is dedicated to my closest friends.
Cris
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